I am late diagnosed AudHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder at the age of 48, and as a late-diagnosed individual with both conditions, I now understand why my life has been challenging in certain areas. Looking back, everything makes so much more sense. I finally know why I have always struggled with friendships and relationships.
The last year before my diagnosis I kept saying over and over “life shouldn’t be this hard.” I could not figure out why everything, including daily tasks, was so difficult. Many days simply deciding what to have for dinner was overwhelming.
To explain how I got to a diagnosis is actually a long story, but the abbreviated version is that in November of 2020 our oldest daughter, who was 14 at the time, became extremely ill. She was in hospital for 20 days in December, in which she was diagnosed with severe Ulcerative Pancolitis, a serious form of Inflammatory Bowel Disease. Over the next 17 months, she battled IBD. She was in and out of the hospital and had several failed medications. In May of 2022 she had to have an emergency Colectomy. That is a surgery where they remove the entire colon. She then had an end ileostomy. This meant she had an ostomy bag. Her health improved temporarily until she developed diversion colitis, requiring two more major surgeries before she finally began to feel better.
Due to her extremely poor health and frequent, long hospitalizations, every member of our family (myself, my husband, and all 3 children) appeared to be suffering from PTSD. We experienced a lot of trauma. She was sick during the height of COVID. The protocols were all scary and kept friends and family from being able to visit. Everything that we experienced during those years could fill a book, one that I will probably write someday.
After her health improved and we all began to recover out of a state of fight or flight, I expected all of us to be doing better…but we weren’t. School became increasingly difficult for our younger two kids to endure. They are bright, and didn’t find it academically difficult, but socially they were drowning. They were extremely anxious at school to the point of making themselves frequently sick. They began begging me not to make them go to school. I too found I was struggling. I was their English teacher. I was anxious at work. I was dealing with a lot of brain fog and my thoughts were scattered. Life became just inexplicably hard.
Our youngest daughter began to hyperfixate on neurodivergency. She gathered information and presented me with a case that she thought she and her brother were autistic. I began to research on my own and really began to feel I had ADHD. As I read more, I learned that neurodivergencies can become more pronounced after trauma. I felt like we all needed therapy in order to cope with the last four years of our daughter’s medical trauma, but I also felt like it was important to know exactly what we were dealing with.
I scheduled Autistic and ADHD testing for myself and our two youngest kids. Myself and our son were both diagnosed with Autism and ADHD. Our youngest was diagnosed with Autism. They were unable to rule out ADHD for her at that time and deemed her test inconclusive, but they also discovered that she is highly intelligent. High IQ is its own neurodivergency with its own set of symptoms and challenges.
When I read my report, labeling me Autistic and ADHD at the age of 48, I was so relieved that I cried. My entire life suddenly made sense: the fact that I was always a picky eater and never out grew it, the fact that I went into mourning when I lost my special blanket as a little girl that I had to take everywhere with me, the fact that people always misread me, the fact that I frequently get told I am too honest…all makes sense now.
I am still getting used to the diagnosis. It is bizarre to suddenly be aware that I do T-rex arms, when a few years ago I wasn’t even aware that T-rex arms was a thing.
I am looking forward to continuing to learn about Autism, ADHD, and myself. I want to be an advocate for the neurodivergent community. I plan for this blog to grow with me as I continue to unmask and discover who I really am.
Eyes On My Own Lane 