For many of us, Mother’s Day can be a complicated day—especially those navigating life through the lens of autism, whether personally or through our children. The picture-perfect greeting card version of motherhood we see on social media doesn’t always reflect our reality. And you know what? That’s okay. Because the truth is, our version of motherhood is just as powerful, just as sacred, and still worth honoring.
I’m writing this today for two types of moms—although some of you, like myself, may belong to both categories. First, to the autistic moms who are navigating a world that often misunderstands them. Second, to the moms raising autistic children, who are learning how to connect with their children while sometimes feeling lost themselves. You are seen and appreciated.
To the Autistic Moms:
You are doing something extraordinary. You are parenting while navigating a world that often feels too loud, too fast, too confusing. You feel deeply, even if others don’t always see it. You love fiercely, even if your affection looks different from what society expects. You manage sensory overload, executive function challenges, and burnout, yet you still show up for your kids every day.
Perhaps routines help you feel safe, and you have created a calm, structured environment where your kids can thrive. Maybe you and your children both experience meltdowns, and together, you are learning how to navigate them while giving yourselves grace. Maybe you don’t attend every PTA meeting or bake cupcakes for the class, but you read bedtime stories with intention, and you know your child’s special interests better than anyone else. That matters. That counts.
If no one has told you, your way of being a mom is valid. It is enough. You most likely have made your children your special interest and that is beautiful.
To the Moms of Autistic Kids:
You are walking a unique path, full of both awe and unknowns. Maybe you’re newly figuring things out, or maybe you’ve been in this journey for years. Either way, you are learning a new language—one that goes beyond words. You’re listening with your heart, noticing what so many others miss. You’re advocating, even when you’re exhausted. You’re rewriting the script on what success, joy, and connection look like.
Sometimes you worry you’re not doing enough. But let me tell you: showing up with love and the willingness to understand your child is everything. Whether you’re celebrating their first word at age six or protecting their peace in a chaotic world, you are mothering with intention. That’s a quiet, understated kind of heroism that the world doesn’t always recognize—but I do.
To the Moms Who Are Both:
First and foremost, you are my people. Your life is complex and layered. You understand what it’s like to be misunderstood, and now you’re helping your child navigate similar challenges. That kind of empathy is a superpower. Your approach to parenting doesn’t fit the mold—and that’s precisely what makes it so powerful. You are raising your child with the compassion and insight that only your lived experiences can provide. You reflect on your own childhood and recognize the deficits that were overlooked when you were diagnosed later in life. You are offering the accommodations and support that you wish you had received, and in doing so, you are healing some of your own past wounds. You are creating a better path for your children, and that is your legacy.
Today, Let’s Celebrate You
Whether Mother’s Day feels joyful, heavy, quiet, or overwhelming—you’re allowed to feel however you feel. You’re allowed to make today what you need it to be. Celebrate with your favorite meal, take a nap in a dark room, skip the brunch crowd, or spend the day in PJs watching cartoons with your kid. There’s no right way to be a mom, and there’s no one way to spend this day.
Your motherhood might not look typical—but it’s real, it’s deep, and it’s changing the world in quiet, powerful ways.
Happy Mother’s Day, from one neurodivergent heart to another. You’re doing beautifully.
With love,
Wendy
Eyes On My Own Lane 